J
J. R. Bob Dobbs.
A clip-art salesman from a 1950s advertisement, pipe clenched, smiling. He is assassinated repeatedly in church literature and returns each time. His face is the church's entire iconography and is reproduced more often than any doctrine it holds.
Meet them — context →
The shared center — held across the tradition
Slack has been stolen from you, and it can be got back.
Slack is the church's name for unearned ease — time, freedom, luck, the absence of obligation. The Conspiracy is whatever took it: work, normality, the demand that a life be justified. Everything else in SubGenius doctrine is scaffolding for that one distinction.
Go deeper — context & 1 source →
Held by most — broad, but not universal
Bob will cheat you, and you should follow him anyway.
The church describes its own god as a salesman who cannot be trusted, and asks for money in the same breath. Members treat the contradiction as the doctrine rather than a flaw in it — a religion honest about being a sales pitch is making a point about the ones that are not.
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Cosmos & Afterlife
how reality is built, and what follows deathThe nature of reality
A world run by a Conspiracy that has stolen Slack from the abnormal in order to sell it back to them, and a small remnant of mutants who can see this and are therefore not to be trusted either.
After death
X-Day: the Xists arrive, the paid-up ascend, everyone else does not. The date passed in 1998 without incident and the church now reschedules it annually rather than abandoning it.